Monday, August 07, 2006

Lebanese Prime Minister learns basic math, geometry next semester

After hours of grueling addition and multiplication work done by Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Siniora today, CNN reported that he is now sure that only "one person was killed in an Israeli airstrike on the southern village of Houla, not 40 as he had earlier reported." This comes as a great shock to the rest of the world, after a UN session had been deliberating whether the Israeli air strikes were disproportionate and caused too much undue harships upon civilians.

"It turned out that there was one person killed," Reuters quoted Siniora saying, who then added, "but I mean, one... forty, they are practically the same thing."

Senior Bush administration officials who declined to be named said that this kind of mistake often happens in the Middle Eastern world. "[Math Education] is definitely on our list right now. I mean, there's a big list of things to fix in the middle east, like a bunch of wars, Islamic dictatorships, lack of rule of law, equal rights to women, and that whole jews surrounded by arabs that hate them thing... but basic arithmatic is definitely on that list... somewhere." The source added, "You see, [Lebanese Prime Minister] Fouad [Siniora] doesn't have 40 fingers, so that may have been the problem there... hard to count to 40 without them."

An IDF spokesperson said that this new estimate was correct. Asked, given killing 40 arab civilians looks bad on the international news, why they didn't refute the earlier statement by the Lebanese Prime Minister, the spokesperson shrugged and commented, "ehh, one... forty, they are practically the same thing."

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